A few months ago I had very little idea as to how I was going to go about weaning Big Brother. At ten months, my milk supply dropped sufficiently and Big Brother made it clear to me he wasn't getting enough. It was about that time I started supplementing him with formula. I decided then to take a small step towards weaning. Instead of giving him the formula in bottles I gave it to him in sippy cups. I figured that when he turned a year old it would make it easier to just start putting whole milk in the sippy and skip the bottle weaning all together. Now at 13 months I'm grateful I made that decision. Big Brother still isn't very proficient at using a sippy cup on his own. He needs all the practice he can get.
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So this morning we made it to our very first OB appointment for Baby Goodrich #2. As I'm sure most moms can understand, I was really, really nervous about this appointment. You hear so many horror stories. The one that scares me the most is when you find out your baby died a long time ago and your body didn't notice, continuing its progression. I could hardly imagine what it would feel like to hear that news and I hurt inside for anyone who ever has.
I went in with Matt and Big Brother, as nervous as ever, scared to hear what the ultrasound tech had to tell me. Luckily, she got right to the point. She put the cold goop on and said that it might be difficult to find the baby this early. Thankfully, this turned out not true for me. Within a few seconds we had a clear view of our tiny baby and it's rapidly beating heart. My own heart was full as I realized that all was well. Everything was okay. Here is our new little one - I've never liked wellness checks. They make me sick to my stomach and worried. What's worse is when you go and you find out all of your worst fears are true... So apparently Big Brother isn't growing very well. And of course we missed his nine month wellness check, which makes me a horrible mother because the doctor can't tell if his lack of growing was sudden or gradual. I guess I shouldn't say it quite like that. Big Brother Is growing. He's just not growing fast enough. At his three month appointment his height was 66% and his weight was 26%. Then at his six month appointment his height was 59% and his weight was 33%. Now at one year, his height is 3% and his weight is 5%. It looks bad, right? He looks perfectly healthy, is as happy as can be and doesn't seem to have any other major problems developmentally. He's just really short and doesn't weigh hardly anything... Of course his head is as big as ever at 93% like usual, so that much at least hasn't changed. Big Brother looks perfect and so you want to just say everything is fine, don't worry about it, but being Mom, it's very hard to Not worry about Everything.
We're due back to the doctor in one month instead of the usual three. I've been giving Big Brother lots of whole milk and lots and lots of food. Hopefully things will look a little better then. I'm update then, when I know more. Not a whole lot to report. I've been super sick since getting home from our vacation, so it's kind of hard to tell what is a pregnancy symptom and what is just me feeling like crap for no reason. The only real thing I've noticed so far is that I am finishing my plate when I eat. I'm a small eater, barely picking at my food and handing the rest off to my husband to finish. It's kind of surprising when I find myself hungry enough to finish Both halves of a Chick-fil-A chicken salad sandwich.
Yesterday morning, before Matt and I jumped on our plane to head back home after a long vacation with our families, I took a pregnancy test. I've taken a lot of these since giving birth to Big Brother, but my hopes were dashed too many times for me to allow myself to get too excited this time. I had to take one though. My period was four days late. My periods haven't exactly been the most reliable as I've only had three since having Big Brother. I had made it a whole 18 months without a period, which was amazing by the way. This being so, my period being four days late wasn't a sure sign of anything. I watched the little strip and once again was disappointed as the second line appeared but the first one did not. I almost walked away right then, but the package says wait two minutes. Frustrated, but determined to follow the rules, I sat and waited. To my amazement, the tiniest, faintest line began to appear in slot number one. It was so faint you almost couldn't see it, but as my two minutes came and went, it darkened ever so slightly. The line was definitely there. I have yet to take tests number two, three, and so forth, but I'm pretty hopeful.
Just like with Big Brother, I'm equally scared and excited. Four weeks pregnant doesn't mean much. It takes at least 20 or so weeks before they can save a baby if something goes wrong. Honestly, it's hard to get truly excited, with no reservations, until the baby has been handed to you, eyes barely opening. I have hope though and I'm praying hard to be allowed to keep it. I won't be announcing anything until I'm about twelve weeks in, but I'm going to write here in my drafts so I can share with you my worries and my excitement each week until Baby Goodrich #2 arrives, which according to this calculator here, should be around November 29th, 2013. Here we go again! |
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