Growing up, whether it was movies, television, books, or music, it was always very clear to me what media was okay and what was not. My mom gave me one rule and one principle when it came to media. The rule was no rated R movies. This was easy to follow. My friends never tried to show me one and my parents sure weren't going to take me to see one. No problem. The principle was probably one of the most important lessons she has ever taught me. She taught me to pay attention to what I am watching/reading/listening to. It is so easy to just watch a movie and completely miss the fact that people are swearing or that some of the women are less than dressed. She taught us to be aware of what we are hearing and what we are seeing, to be ready and willing to turn it off if we found it objectionable. I took this lesson to heart. I still remember being eight or nine years old and yelling at my teenage big brother for listening to music that swore on my portable radio. It was all black and white to me. It was either okay to watch or read, or it wasn't.
When I married a gamer, my world was kind of turned upside down. The only video games I had ever been exposed to before meeting my husband were Nintendo. I loved to watch my brothers and sisters play Zelda and Super Mario. I got pretty good at Dr. Mario myself (still the only game I can cream my husband at). Now all of these other, more violent video games were a whole new dynamic of media I was going to have to figure out and decide where they fit on my black and white chart of okay and not. Then, to add to my need to get this figured out, we had two sweet innocent boys. These boys have the potential to love video games like their father, or find entertainment elsewhere like me. Not to mention all of the movies and books they would undoubtedly watch and read. What would the rules be? |
I watched a few of my siblings come to their own conclusions on this topic. I have one brother who decided with his wife that Nintendo games would be the only video games allowed in the house. One of my sisters decided with her husband that they would not, themselves or their children, ever watch anything rated higher than PG. Both of these decisions are safe. The line is clear and it is easy to see what is okay and what is not. As much as I'd have liked to claim these decisions for my own family, they weren't going to work for us. Our family needed rules that allowed for rated T and M games as well as PG-13 movies, and yet without inviting evil into our home.
After years of discussing it, studying it, and praying about it we finally came to an agreement on basic rules for the media in our home. They are guides to follow that can be adjusted depending on the child as some can handle things earlier than others, but they are a foundation to work with. In our studying we have come to the understanding that no rated R movie is acceptable to watch, but the line isn't to be drawn there. There are too many PG-13 movies that are also inappropriate to watch and so there can be no definitive line as simple as that. This applies to the video game rating system as well as some rated M games are inappropriate to play.
Here are the guidelines we have chosen for our family:
After years of discussing it, studying it, and praying about it we finally came to an agreement on basic rules for the media in our home. They are guides to follow that can be adjusted depending on the child as some can handle things earlier than others, but they are a foundation to work with. In our studying we have come to the understanding that no rated R movie is acceptable to watch, but the line isn't to be drawn there. There are too many PG-13 movies that are also inappropriate to watch and so there can be no definitive line as simple as that. This applies to the video game rating system as well as some rated M games are inappropriate to play.
Here are the guidelines we have chosen for our family:
Video Games
Under 10 10-13 13-17 17+ | - No violence portrayed as acceptable or desirable - No violence portrayed as acceptable or desirable - No violence portrayed as acceptable or desirable - No idealizing evil practices: immorality, drinking, smoking, etc. - Minimal language: no "F" words - No violence portrayed as acceptable or desirable - No idealizing evil practices: immorality, drinking, smoking, etc. - No "F" words - No participating in unmarried intimacy; no sex scenes - Women you can see, especially frequently, must be dressed; no soft porn |
Movies & TV
Music
All | - No violence portrayed as acceptable or desirable - No idealizing evil practices: immorality, drinking, smoking, etc. - No swearing period (radio versions are okay/edit if necessary) - No idealizing unmarried intimacy; no sex "scenes" |
Books
All | - No violence portrayed as acceptable or desirable - No idealizing evil practices: immorality, drinking, smoking, etc. - Minimal to no swearing (edit if necessary) - No idealizing unmarried intimacy; no sex scenes |
“Over the past several years, standards applied to the rating system have eroded along with the contemporary standards of our society, thus making the rating system even less trustworthy. (There have been celebrated cases of films rated X which were later re-released as [PG-13].) What we want to avoid in movies—as in everything else—is the vulgar, the obscene, and the violent; R and X ratings used to be a convenient way of identifying these elements. But today we must take unusual pains to scrutinize movies with [PG-13] ratings, as well. …
How then, does one select appropriate film entertainment? A more efficient rating system would help, but it would still fail for the reasons we have previously discussed. Ultimately, there is no rating system that will satisfy every person’s individual standards. It remains for each of us to sort through word-of-mouth reports, media reviews, publicity, and then compare what we find with our own conscience. The only reliable standards are the ones we set for ourselves, guided by our quest for perfection and inspired by the principles of the gospel.” - I Have A Question; LDS.org
Finding a good balance, a good place to draw the line is difficult to do. What have you found works for your family? What rules do you implement?