Bedtime nursing has always been my worst nightmare whenever I think about weaning. I couldn't imagine knowing how to get my smiley, hyper baby to wind down without nursing him right before bed. We had a very extensive bedtime routine including teeth brushing, scripture reading, and two baby books before turning out the lights. Then we would turn out the lights, turn on the noise maker and get comfortable in our chair to nurse. I would sing him Church Primary songs - The full song of "I Am a Child of God", full song of "A Child's Prayer," full song of "Love is Spoken Here", and ending with a verse or two of "I Am a Child of God" hummed. By the end of all of these songs, he would be almost asleep in my arms and ready to go to sleep. After we dropped almost a full day of nursing, I started shortening our routine when it came to the songs. Big Brother took to it a lot better than I thought he would. As of yesterday I was only singing the first two verses of "I Am a Child of God" and then all of "Love is Spoken Here." Tonight on the other hand, he stopped me before I could even finish the first verse of "I Am a Child of God" and asked (pointed and quested with his little huh?) to be put in his crib. I'm a little in shock.
The only assumption I made at 10 months, and until recently still assumed, was that weaning Big Brother was not going to be very emotional for me. I have to say now, it was a bad assumption. Part of me wonders if it might have been easier if it hadn't happened over a week and a half, but I'm not so sure. I've looked forward to the day I could wean Big Brother probably since he was about six months old. I had made a year my goal and set my mind to it. Now that Big Brother is 13 and a half months though and all but done nursing, it all feels a little bitter sweet. I'm going to miss nursing him. I just keep trying to remind myself to be grateful he is such a cuddly boy. No matter how much we do or do not nurse, Big Brother has always been a momma's boy and he loves to be in my arms as much as possible. I suppose at least until he is walking, I've still got that to hold onto.