For years I have wanted to do something, anything to help people who were hurting. I wanted to help people who had been abused, particularly those who had been sexually abused. I wanted a way to show them that finding peace was actually possible; to show them that they can forgive and be forgiven. I wanted to show them that it is okay to become comfortable with sex and their own sexuality once they get married.
Mid-May of this year I was hit with idea after idea. This is when I started work on two major projects. First, was a project I immediately made accessible to the world, the section of my blog titled Behind Closed Doors. I began researching and pulling together information and resources to help people; books that help you heal, books that teach you how to help your children be comfortable with their sexuality, articles that help explain why we are so conditioned to think of sex and sexuality as evil and unclean. I love what I've been able to find and I'm still working on it. The second major project I started work on was a book. I wanted to write a book that would help people, not the kind of book that has step by step instructions on how to heal, but a book with a story that just about anybody who has been abused could relate to and see that finding peace really is possible.
My book has been a work in progress over the past few months. I worked on it long and hard for about a month and then life happened and I had to stop for several months. This last weekend I pulled it open again and realized the seven pages of writing I had started back in May was the wrong story, so, I started over. I pulled open an empty notebook and just started writing. It was incredible. Thought after thought, suddenly with five pages of strictly bulleted notes, I had an entire story in front of me. I knew my characters, I knew their stories, the timeline on which the whole story would fall, all the way down to how it would start and how it would end.
As long as I always remember why I want to write this story, my pure desire to help people, the ideas come flowing to me. I'm a logical person who loves budgets and handling money. I truly believe this is why I had to stop the first time, why the ideas stopped flowing and why I couldn't make the story be what I wanted it to be. I got caught up in what I could do with this book financially. I started thinking less and less about what I was trying to accomplish and more and more about how much money I could possibly make off of it. I realize now that I was being selfish. I don't need to make money off of this book. All I want is to get it in the hands of as many hurt and broken people as I can so that I might be able to help them make their lives even just a little bit better.
On that note, I'd like to tell you a little bit more about the book. I won't say much as I want you to stay intrigued enough to stay interested in reading it, but I'd like to update you as I continue to write. My book has changed quite a bit since May. It originally was to read as though you were reading someone's journal. I found this incredibly difficult and a little slow and boring to read. Trying to tell as story by dropping little hints into a hundred journal entries was definitely not going to work for what I wanted to do. The new and improved version I started work on this weekend, though still containing a few journal entries, reads much more like a story and works much harder to hold your attention.
Another thing that has changed many more times than one is the book's title. When I first started back in May I called this book "Broken." Later in May I changed it to "McKenzie's Diaries" to work with my journal entry idea. This weekend after changing pretty much the whole book I had to drop the name too. I mean, the main character isn't even named McKenzie anymore! I tried on a whole slew of names and I can't promise I'll stick to my current choice. They were, "Hands Washed Clean," "Hearts Washed Clean," "Wounded Souls," and "Forgiveness." Ironically, my current and final title for this book is "Broken."
Over this weekend I was able to accomplish a lot on "Broken." I've got an outline for the whole book, a timeline, I've written out the turning point of the story, almost completed the first chapter, and have an outline of sorts for chapter two. I'm loving this project and look forward to every spare moment I have to work on it. To end I'd like to leave you with the only teaser you'll ever get, the first paragraph of the first chapter.
~
It was a warm spring day in Oregon. The trees swayed in the soft wind and the birds chirped animatedly one to another. The smell of oranges filled the air as the wind blew past an orange tree nearby and across her face. She breathed in deeply, taking a small moment to enjoy its scent. Today was not one for pleasant things though. Today, here in this place filled with trees towering over marble markers of mortality, she must attend a funeral. It was her grandmother who passed away. She didn't know her well, but not many did. She never felt like she could connect with her grandmother no matter what she did. The only thing that connected them, even just a little bit, was their shared name; Robin.
Mid-May of this year I was hit with idea after idea. This is when I started work on two major projects. First, was a project I immediately made accessible to the world, the section of my blog titled Behind Closed Doors. I began researching and pulling together information and resources to help people; books that help you heal, books that teach you how to help your children be comfortable with their sexuality, articles that help explain why we are so conditioned to think of sex and sexuality as evil and unclean. I love what I've been able to find and I'm still working on it. The second major project I started work on was a book. I wanted to write a book that would help people, not the kind of book that has step by step instructions on how to heal, but a book with a story that just about anybody who has been abused could relate to and see that finding peace really is possible.
My book has been a work in progress over the past few months. I worked on it long and hard for about a month and then life happened and I had to stop for several months. This last weekend I pulled it open again and realized the seven pages of writing I had started back in May was the wrong story, so, I started over. I pulled open an empty notebook and just started writing. It was incredible. Thought after thought, suddenly with five pages of strictly bulleted notes, I had an entire story in front of me. I knew my characters, I knew their stories, the timeline on which the whole story would fall, all the way down to how it would start and how it would end.
As long as I always remember why I want to write this story, my pure desire to help people, the ideas come flowing to me. I'm a logical person who loves budgets and handling money. I truly believe this is why I had to stop the first time, why the ideas stopped flowing and why I couldn't make the story be what I wanted it to be. I got caught up in what I could do with this book financially. I started thinking less and less about what I was trying to accomplish and more and more about how much money I could possibly make off of it. I realize now that I was being selfish. I don't need to make money off of this book. All I want is to get it in the hands of as many hurt and broken people as I can so that I might be able to help them make their lives even just a little bit better.
On that note, I'd like to tell you a little bit more about the book. I won't say much as I want you to stay intrigued enough to stay interested in reading it, but I'd like to update you as I continue to write. My book has changed quite a bit since May. It originally was to read as though you were reading someone's journal. I found this incredibly difficult and a little slow and boring to read. Trying to tell as story by dropping little hints into a hundred journal entries was definitely not going to work for what I wanted to do. The new and improved version I started work on this weekend, though still containing a few journal entries, reads much more like a story and works much harder to hold your attention.
Another thing that has changed many more times than one is the book's title. When I first started back in May I called this book "Broken." Later in May I changed it to "McKenzie's Diaries" to work with my journal entry idea. This weekend after changing pretty much the whole book I had to drop the name too. I mean, the main character isn't even named McKenzie anymore! I tried on a whole slew of names and I can't promise I'll stick to my current choice. They were, "Hands Washed Clean," "Hearts Washed Clean," "Wounded Souls," and "Forgiveness." Ironically, my current and final title for this book is "Broken."
Over this weekend I was able to accomplish a lot on "Broken." I've got an outline for the whole book, a timeline, I've written out the turning point of the story, almost completed the first chapter, and have an outline of sorts for chapter two. I'm loving this project and look forward to every spare moment I have to work on it. To end I'd like to leave you with the only teaser you'll ever get, the first paragraph of the first chapter.
~
It was a warm spring day in Oregon. The trees swayed in the soft wind and the birds chirped animatedly one to another. The smell of oranges filled the air as the wind blew past an orange tree nearby and across her face. She breathed in deeply, taking a small moment to enjoy its scent. Today was not one for pleasant things though. Today, here in this place filled with trees towering over marble markers of mortality, she must attend a funeral. It was her grandmother who passed away. She didn't know her well, but not many did. She never felt like she could connect with her grandmother no matter what she did. The only thing that connected them, even just a little bit, was their shared name; Robin.